The Startup Pregnant Philosophy: Core Value #1: “In My Experience.”
In this special mini-series, we’re looking at the 10 Core Values of the Startup Pregnant Philosophy. These are the values that underscore everything we do, how we do it, and even how we design our interviews! Over the next ten days, we’ll be releasing short 10-minute episodes looking at each of the core values of our philosophy.
In today’s episode, we unpack the first core value:
#1: “We speak first using the words ‘in my experience.’
Listen in to hear why these three words are critical for any conversation, and why we can’t strive for “one perfect woman” archetype to be. There are multiple stories of what it looks like to be a parent and to be an entrepreneur, and there isn’t one size that fits everyone. The first principle or philosophy guides us and reminds us of this.
In this vein, we take a generous stance. What works for one situation might not work for all situations. It can be a challenge in our human ways of understanding to operate from this place of “multiple perspectives.” Cognitive dissonance works against us, telling us that our past decisions must be ‘right’ and to defend against other choices that people make as ‘wrong,’ if they violate what we would have chosen. The wisdom calling is to see how different decisions can be right for people at different times.
The 10×10 contest!
From November 13th — November 30th, 2017, we’re having a contest! Head over here to read the full rules and prizes. To enter, listen in to any one of the 10×10 episodes featuring our 10 Core Values, and respond to the question shared in the podcast episode. Share your response like this:
- Leaving a comment below on this blog post with your reflection on the episode.
- Sharing this episode and your thoughts on social media using the hashtag #startuppregnant.
You can enter multiple times for every episode in our 10×10 series.part of the contest by leaving a comment and sharing as much as you’d like on social media!
Contest ends November 30th, 2017.
THE STARTUP PREGNANT PODCAST & HOST:
YES YES! I’m so excited about this new podcast and can’t wait for more.
GOOD FOR HER. NOT FOR ME. I am adding this to my daily language…so needed.
So many great, useful tips here…motherhood is HARD and we need more of this. Thanks, Sarah!
I loved the quote “Good for her, not for me”. So many times at the beginning of becoming a mother I was challenged on my choices, whether it was deciding to not put our son in daycare, breastfeed for longer than I had planned, co-sleep and not sleep train. It was probably the hardest bit, not feeling fully comfortable and confident in my new role, yet having to defend my choices. This has made me very sensitive to other mothers choices, respecting that we all must do as we feel, as is suited to the child, our context, our beliefs, needs. Our experiences are unique. We all are the best mothers we can be.
PS. Sarah, congrats on the podcast, love your voice and enjoy listening and reflecting further with it on the imperfect balance that is modern motherhood.
Oh my goodness, I love this! I’ve used it several times in the past week already, sharing pregnancy tips and in explaining my upcoming maternity leave to friends. It just feels so spacious and kind — it leaves enough room for everyone to be their honest selves!
Now, if only I could tell all the random strangers who keep stopping me to ask how pregnant I am and then tell me “to enjoy every moment” or “get an epidural immediately” about these magical words:)
I found the talk about cognitive dissonance absolutely fascinating! It explains a lot, especially in these times of such polar opposite opinions about lots of important topics.
Thanks for sharing this wonderfully bite-sized episode!
We’ve got to move out of the polarization and into that field where we can realize that multiple perspectives exist, and there’s a spectrum. Thanks for chiming in, LOVE your work, Claire!
So much YES! I have absolutely found acknowledging that we each come at everything in life from our own unique set of experiences helps me to have compassion both for myself and for others. Comparing ourselves can sometimes kill creativity and confidence.
I’m absolutely loving this podcast! While mothering my 5-month-old and sticking my toes in the self-employed world, this couldn’t have come at a better season in my life. Thank you for sharing your words!
In my experience I don’t judge others for their parenting choices, but seeing the choices other mothers make sometimes makes me doubt my own. There is so much doubt that comes with raising kids and we have so many contradictory opinions floating around about everything from what they eat to how to discipline. Using “good for her, not for me” as a mantra of sorts has been really helpful for me to gain confidence around the parenting decisions I’m making.
I love how “in my experience” allows for multiple truths to exist, and for there to be space for all the complex differences in opinion, preference and experience to co-exist alongside one another without being necessarily in conflict with one another.
In my experience, I, we, decided I would stay at home with our daughter and my partner would continue his work. Our daughter turned three last month and also started her first daycare/school adventure. I remember many encounters with other parents and random people who would express their opinions as to when, where, and even who should care for my child. I also remember this hidden guilt inside of me which would poke its opinion into my experience. For me, making a conscious effort to receive without holding onto what does not serve me and to give without judgment of others is a constant practice. Thank you for bringing light to this conversation.
It seems to me the idea of “In my Experience…” is so multifaceted and connected to our lives now more than ever. In many ways our lives are driven by the experiences of others. It can have positive and negative connotations; be taken too personally, reflect our future judgements and decisions, or begin to understand by the other in agreement. In the age of sharing our opinions and individual lives through social media and the internet, as individuals we rely on the idea of “In my experience” to justify and make decisions in how we choose to run our households, discipline our children, find the best products, share the experiences we have dining at a restaurant or recommendations on where to go on vacation. Its a fascinating idea to sit and muse on because of how much it matters in being a person in todays world.