Cultivating Adult Female Friendships

If you are working parent, chances are that career and family dominate your time and attention. Yet we all know the immense value of cultivating friendships with other women who share similar circumstances, interests, or values.

So, how do you carve out the time to nurture established friendships? Even more challenging, how do you build new female friendships? And how do you handle it when a friendship ends?

Today, Cary Fortin is back to help me explore the issue of making new friends as an adult. We discuss the process of putting yourself out there and identifying a good friendship match as well as the logistical challenge of staying in touch with long-distance friends. I explain what it means to ‘aggressively make friends,’ and Cary addresses the value in owning who you are and leading with your values. Listen in for insight on letting people know you’re thinking about them (without an agenda) and learn how Cary and I navigate the emotional landscape when a friendship ends.

The Startup Pregnant Podcast Episode #083

Some quotes from the episode 


  • “I’m gonna go aggressively make friends now.”
  • “The more I find the number of layers and levels of commonality, I think the easier it is to have a friendship that transcends a single topic.”
  • “With people I feel a soul calling to, a spiritual connection … I try to set up a monthly rhythm where I just check in.”
  • “You’re moving in different energies or orbits, and that’s okay. It’s okay not to have everyone in your life at all times.”
  • “That phrase, I’m thinking about you, is one of the kindest things we can do for other human beings.”
  • “You have to protect yourself and your heart first. If somebody is not … taking care of you and respecting you, that’s not friendship. That’s a trespass.”
  • “I think this is one of the roles of friendship: You actually do hold each other to high standards and high integrity. You set the bar for each other, and you live up to it.”


  • “Invest in the things you love about a new place.”
  • “Some of the most important tools are those really practical ones for keeping the emotional connection alive.”
  • “Things that don’t require a ton of effort but still imply … that someone was thinking of you? It feels special to be on the receiving end, and it feels good to be on the giving end.”
  • “A really generous thing is to say, ‘You don’t owe me anything. Pay it forward or just enjoy.’”
  • “There are times for you to say, ‘This friendship is over and here’s why,’ but I think there are also times to say, ‘Hey, I’m open to this friendship. It just needs to look more like this.’”
  • “Sometimes the kindest thing to do is to be the most direct.”


Cary Fortin is an expert in the realm of simple living and the psychology of letting go. She is the co-founder of New Minimalism, declutter + design service and online resource for people looking to simplify and renew their homes and workspaces, and the co-author of New Minimalism: Decluttering and Design for Sustainable, Intentional Living. Cary is also a writer and lifestyle expert whose work has been featured in Mindbodygreen, Fayr and Sunset Magazine, among other publications.



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