Why do people constantly caution you about what’s about to get worse?

In one of the parenting groups I’m in, we started having a discussion about the phrase we always hear: “Just you wait.”

Equally frustrating is the phrase: “Don’t get used to it!”

Now, I’m in a lot of online parenting groups and they’re pretty amazing.

In a recent conversation, someone brought up this phrase that everyone seems to say. You’ll mention something, like, “Oh my gosh, my kid just started walking,” or “Oh my gosh, business is booming,”

And for some reason it triggers this reaction in people to give a half-smile, shake their head a bit, and say,

“Just you wait… until…”

And they proceed to mention some terrible thing that’s coming, either for your baby (until they’re talking!), or for your business (until the economy tanks!).

But it’s not just other people’s voices. We do it to ourselves, too.

When talking about success, do you balance out the good with the bad?

“Just had an amazing launch, but I messed up my sleep so much that now I’m sick.”

“I got a promotion and things are great, but {insert something that isn’t going great}.”

When it gets good, do you let yourself expand to absorb the good, or do you quickly try to bring yourself back to the familiar?

These common “returns” to normalcy are likely related to a lot of cultural fear of being good and showing up in a BIG way. If you’ve read The Big Leap, you might know of this as the Upper Limit Problem. It’s how we self-sabotage when we reach joy.

People are afraid to let light shine in a big way. You see this both in other people cutting things down (“It won’t always be that good!”) and also in cutting ourselves down (“My kid slept through the night! Yay! But — insert some bad thing here, like, but he doesn’t eat well, so, I’m still normal like you!”)

Showing up and SHINING and being like, actually, things are great, period, full stop. —

This is a radically hard concept inside of a competitive culture that embraces scarcity mentalities. It’s a terrifically hard concept to embrace when we have a lifetime of relying on our past ways-of-being.

How do you change to an abundance mindset?

It can take work. And it can also be easy.

But typically, for me, it involves first: pattern recognition.

Notice what’s happening. Where do the recurring doubts or fears set in? When do you feel uncertain about feeling great?

Then, it involves a pause. Often an exhale. And very often, it requires support from a tribe of people dedicated and open to seeing you grow and change.

Last Fall I changed my pricing structure and I promptly freaked out. I text my girlfriends and say, “Help! What’s happening!”

They write back, “Girl, of course you’re freaking out. Totally normal. New way of being. Exhale into it. Dance into it. Embrace it. Meditate into it. Absorb it. Watch yourself lean into it.”

Operating from a place of expansion is operating from your place of power.

When we play big, and we allow for expansion, it can mean taking up space in a way we’ve never felt before.

It might feel unusual, and that’s okay.

Pause. Feel the difference. Sit there a while.

Allow yourself to expand.

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