How To Escape “Good Girl” Brainwashing — 223 with Lisa Carmen Wang and the Bad Bitch Empire
“A woman steps into her full power not when she is finally given permission to do so, but when she realizes she never needed permission in the first place.”
— Lisa Carmen Wang
One of our core philosophies at Startup Parent is that we don’t have to do things the way they’ve always been done.
That’s why one of the things we talk about constantly inside the Wise Women’s Council—our leadership incubator for business moms and founder moms—is talk about the social conditioning we get as young women and girls. In order to deprogram from motherhood myths and lies, we have to look at where it starts: being taught to be good girls.
If you struggle with people-pleasing, perfectionism, or prioritizing other people before yourself, chances are you’ve also been subjected to what Lisa Carmen Wang describes as “Good Girl Brainwashing.”
You’ll learn how to identify the messages that keep women quiet and small, and what to do about them. Plus, Lisa discusses the harmful effects of perpetuating a system driven by fear and scarcity, and she advocates for a new world order where powerful women lead without apology and break free from competitive zero-sum games that keep us small.
Lisa Carmen Wang, founder of the Bad Bitch Empire, joins Sarah K Peck on the podcast to explain how this brainwashing happens, how you can learn to speak up, and why it’s so important to challenge the societal norms that limit women’s power. If you want to become a leader and you want to create an impact in this world, then listen to this episode—because your “good girl” training is probably doing you a disservice.
In this episode, Sarah and Lisa talk about:
- What “good girl brainwashing” is and how to combat it.
- Identifying your values, knowing your “anti-values,” and how they influence your boundaries.
- What Lisa learned from exploring her passion, anger, and healing with plant medicine.
- How technology has given women the freedom to think differently about parenting timelines.
- The power of ceremony, celebrating yourself as a woman, and Lisa’s egg-freezing shower.
- How Lisa is empowering—and financing—women to help them unleash their full potential in a system that thrives on their fear and insecurity.
“Being a good girl is the greatest disservice to you as a woman.” — Lisa Carmen Wang
For everyone who went through life as a “good girl” by getting good grades, winning awards, and checking the boxes, this episode is for you.
Lisa discovered what good girl brainwashing is when she recognized it in herself: she went through life as a “good girl”, getting A’s, winning medals as a competitive gymnast, going to an Ivy League, and getting a good job on Wall Street.
In spite of all these external accomplishments, Lisa felt unsatisfied and like she wasn’t “enough”. She realized that was because she wasn’t living into her own power; she was living into a version of herself that existed for others. She fell prey to the “good girl brainwashing” that teaches women to be small, submissive, or subordinate, and to prioritize others over self.
We forget our power, and we forgo our own dreams for the sake of others.
That messaging benefits a small number of men at the top, but it is detrimental to women—especially as we rise into power. Being a good girl might help to get in the door because it’s how we get the straight A’s and the approval. But when you want to become a leader and want to start creating impact in this world, there’s a point at which being a good girl is actually a disservice to you as a woman.
Lisa created the Bad Bitch Empire, and wrote The Bad Bitch Business Bible.
The Bad Bitch Empire represents a New World Order, where powerful women who are not afraid to stand up or speak out are going to take the lead. It’s a movement of women who don’t follow the status quo. Power can be fueled by two things: it can prey on fear, or it can harness from love.
Lisa points out that our current system is all focused on preying on people’s fear, their lack, and their scarcity. It is propped up by messaging that says “you’re not good enough,” “you don’t have enough,” and that you need to keep working at all costs.
This system thrusts women into work environments and work schedules that do not serve their bodies, rhythms, or the ways in which humans often naturally collaborate. Inside of capitalist structures where women are stripped of power, it ends up as a competitive zero sum system that pits women against each other—the only people that benefit are a very small group of men at the top.
The people who currently hold the most power benefit the most when they make sure that women are fearful, scarce, and competitive with each other. But the moment women realize that they are more powerful in collaboration, and that women don’t need permission or approval, well, then “everything’s going to go to hell in the best possible way.”
Listen to Episode 223 of the Startup Parent Podcast to learn more about Lisa’s journey from being a good girl to a bad bitch, her experience leaving Wall Street to become an entrepreneur, why she isn’t sure about becoming a parent.
“I don’t deal with people who choose to purposely misunderstand me.”
— Lisa Carmen Wang
Lisa Carmen Wang, Bad Bitch
Lisa Carmen Wang is founder of the Bad Bitch Empire and the author of . After breaking free from the “good girl” mindset, she built and sold a business to a $1 billion fintech company, has empowered over 100K women in their entrepreneurial journeys, and earned accolades such as Forbes 30 Under 30 and Entrepreneur Magazine’s 100 Most Powerful Women. Lisa’s mission is to guide you in unleashing your inner Bad Bitch, allowing you to create your worth and wealth on your own terms.
Where to find Lisa Carmen Wang:
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