The 6 Easy Steps I Use To Get Writing Done With Children Around—It’s So Simple And Easy!

by May 6, 2020Humor, Madness and Mayhem, Things My Children Teach Me

12:58pm.

How to write a morning post, in very not easy steps.

Step 1: Wake up around 5am or 6am, depending on when the children wake up. Try to wake up before them.

Step 2: Acquire coffee.

Step 3: Try to write through depression and discouragement.

Step 4: Read the news.

Damnit. DO NOT READ THE NEWS.

Step 5: Take two hours to write six words. Realize half the selfies you took your eyes were closed. Do you post the eyes closed version? This one. The kid is cute in this one.

BUT WILL EVERYONE THINK THAT WORKING PARENTS ARE HAVING A JOYFUL TIME RIGHT NOW?

Worry about the existential angst.

Begin writing a post that says “Working parents are not okay.”‘

Delete sentences because no one is okay. There isn’t really a comparison game to be played here.

Call your friend and realize that you’re having trouble stringing words together. Hang up the telephone because both of your children and pushing buttons on the phone and you can’t actually have a real conversation while children and buttons are in close proximity. What was it that they said? “Opening my computer is like a pavlovian response for my child.” Yeah, that.

Step 6: Go back and count previous steps, because you forgot where you are.

Step 7: Try to disentangle children wrapped around your legs. Realize they need to be fed.

Step 8: Have one child scoop the coffee for you (yes, the second coffee). They should be fine playing with the grounds, right? Right? What are they licking? FML.

Step 9: Create breakfasts for children. String cheese and chips it is. Put them at the table. They are sitting at the table. They are sitting on the table. They are on the table. They are standing on the table. Ask yourself if you really care—can you write an email from the kitchen while watching them? Wonder if a 1 year old falling off a table would be bad enough to go to the ER. You do not want to go to the ER. Walk to the table. Say “sit down please,” like twelve times. Sit at the table with them.

What were you doing?

Step 10: What were you doing?

Step 11,458: It is now 1:08pm.

The children are in their beds. They are supposed to be napping. You have opened your laptop. You are writing. What are you writing? I don’t know.

 

It is 1:38pm.

YOU MIGHT ALSO ENJOY

Raising Them: Gender Creative Parenting — Episode #174 with Dr. Kyl Myers

Raising Them: Gender Creative Parenting — Episode #174 with Dr. Kyl Myers

The other day, I was reading an article on Time Magazine that I couldn’t stop reading. Dr. Kyl Myers, an author, had written a long-form piece about gender, sex and parenting. Dr. Kyl Myers holds a PhD in sociology and studies and speaks about gender. Kyl is an award-winning educator and a globally recognized advocate for gender creative parenting. Since 2016, Kyl has been speaking and writing about gender creative parenting and using their own parenting story to help the world learn about and embrace a new type of childhood. Kyl Myers goes by “she” and “her” pronouns, as well as “they” and “them.” Dr. Myers is the author of Raising Them: Our Adventure In Gender Creative Parenting. This is a fascinating conversation about parenting, gender, and what we can do as parents to help reduce gender violence, oppression against women and men, and create a more playful world.

read more
Why Are The Stories Of Motherhood So White? — Episode #173 with Nefertiti Austin

Why Are The Stories Of Motherhood So White? — Episode #173 with Nefertiti Austin

In America, the word “mother” is nearly always describing white motherhood. That’s what Nefertiti, a single African American woman and the author of “Motherhood So White,” discovered when she decided she wanted to adopt a Black baby boy out of the foster care system. Eager to finally join the motherhood ranks, Nefertiti was shocked by the assumptions people had about what adoption, motherhood, and Black motherhood should look like. She realized that American society saw motherhood through a white lens, and that there would be no easy understanding or acceptance of the kind of family she hoped to build.

read more
Potty Training In A Pandemic? My Incomplete Notes (From Memory) — Episode #157

Potty Training In A Pandemic? My Incomplete Notes (From Memory) — Episode #157

My friend has an almost-two-year old and she asked me “So when do I need to think about potty training?” Yeah, as though you needed anything else to consider in the pandemic. Well, I took a few minutes to brain dump everything I remembered about potty training in a quick dash Voxer message to her, all while doing dishes and cleaning up the boys’ room in our house. We both thought that these might be useful memos for you, especially if you happen to be in a similar situation. Consider this an unofficial, scrappy overview of Potty Training that will help you do a good enough job … for now.

read more
ASK SARAH #8: Side Hustles, Personal Branding, Exercise After Pregnancy

ASK SARAH #8: Side Hustles, Personal Branding, Exercise After Pregnancy

Should you start a business on the side while you’re employed full-time? What are the risks and complications—and are you obligated to let your employer know? This is a tricky question, and a lot depends state to state. I dig into the things you should know about corporate contracts, employment agreements, inventions and assignments agreements, and why getting a lawyer to look at your contracts is a really smart investment (and shouldn’t cost you more than a few hundred dollars).

read more

Sarah K Peck

Founder, Startup Parent

Sarah Peck is a writer, startup advisor, and yoga teacher based in New York City. She’s the founder and executive director of Startup Parent, a media company documenting the stories of women’s leadership across work and family. She hosts the weekly Startup Parent Podcast and Let's Talk, her second podcast. Previously, she worked at Y Combinator backed One Month, Inc, a company that teaches people to code in 30 days, and before that she was a writing and communications consultant.

She’s a 20-time All-American swimmer who successfully swam the Escape from Alcatraz nine separate times, once wearing only a swim cap and goggles to raise $33k for charity: water. She’s written for more than 75 different web publications and and has delivered speeches and workshops at Penn, UVA, Berkeley, Harvard, Craft & Commerce, WDS, and more.