Over the last week, the internet has popped up loads of articles about influencers behaving badly—in one case, the queen of relatability and toxic positivity shared casual, demeaning remarks about her hired help, then offered a non-apology that involved throwing her own team under the bus, then deleted the bad posts, and—wait for it, I’m sure within the next few days, tears will be next. There will be tears, and a public apology (a “real” one), and a vow to do better. It strikes me that this is strategic, because we’ve seen this playbook before. It’s a marketing strategy, and you’re being played.
We do things differently here. If you reject the status quo of motherhood, if you're a parent that doesn't need any more "hustle" advice, or you want to be around people rethinking work and parenthood, get on our private newsletter list.
It’s time we talked about what power looks like for women, and how we claim our right to power—specifically a new feminine form of power. For centuries, we’ve told men’s stories, and we’ve told stories about masculine power. That power looks like power over other people, like strength, coercion, domination, and defeat. Women have fought for years to do all the things that men have done, Elizabeth Lesser writes—to vote, to lead, to have sex, to lead universities and companies and societies, to have babies, to leave the house, to leave marriages. But it’s time to move into a new form and vision of power. Here’s what it might look like.
What we went through last year, and what we are still going through, is beyond comprehension and imagination. Many pandemic parents are still trying to survive, out of work, and picking up the pieces from last year. Many more are grieving deeply, and some of us don’t have a clear roadmap for grief or recovery. Pandemic parents feel anything from grief to resilience, anger to exhaustion. We are not the same as before.
Startup Pregnant will be renamed Startup Parent. One of the biggest problems of the modern cultural dialogue around work and parenting is that it’s centered exclusively on women and mothers. There are different challenges facing mothers and fathers, and women face larger workplace penalties and cultural challenges than men, but the harm of patriarchal systems and capitalist obsessions with ‘Ideal Workers’ hurts both men and women, and the solutions for problems women are facing won’t come without an integrated understanding from all genders.
What is mom guilt, where does it show up, and how do you deal with it? We ask readers to share if they feel mom guilt, and why.
We are two weeks away from kicking off our fourth class of The Wise Women’s Council, and we have an extraordinary group of people joining us for the year ahead. The Wise Women’s Council (WWC) is our year-long leadership incubator for women business leaders, entrepreneurs, and innovators who are also navigating pregnancy, parenthood, and motherhood. We go deep together for the better part of a year and support women at their growth edge who want to continue to level up in their life and career.
We need your leadership from where you are—as you are. We’ve known for a long time that we need much more diverse leadership, that we need women’s leadership, and that we need new models of power. As Elizabeth Lesser says, we need to embrace “power to,” not just “power over.” We need truth telling, and we need new visions. We need you, your work, and your brave new thinking. We need you to show up. We need you to be who you really are, not what an archaic model of power and “leadership” tells you to be. Take care, take the rest you need, take action, and show up. Even and especially as you are.
We’re hosting FREE community gatherings for working parents every month. Come gather with other parents and soon-to-be-parents to meet each other and connect. Come as you are, show up in your jammies, with your baby, nursing, hiding in the bathroom, ducking into a car for a meeting—whatever you need to do, by all means. Sounds, noises, messes all welcome.
School is back in session, and parents everywhere are fatigued, overwhelmed, and still in the lurch. Workplaces are less and less forgiving, and yet the problems created by the pandemic are still here. What’s a working parent to do? Last week, Lions + Tigers gathered a panel to talk about specific steps parents can take to strategically plan ahead for the coming year. I hosted a conversation with Brea Starmer, founder of Lions+Tigers, Shauna Causey of Weekdays, and Blessing Adesiyan of Mother Honestly.
If you’re overwhelmed by everything, you’re not alone. There’s a lot happening right now. All of the things happening right now—a pandemic, job stress, health worries, lack of childcare, natural disasters, uncertainty about the future, an election year—can conspire to take a toll on our mental health. The environments we are in and the way the stress affects us is real. If you’re feeling stressed and close to burnout, you’re not alone. This is a struggle, and I’ve got a few tips for you to stay compassionate to yourself and help make all this stress just a little bit lighter.
Are you curious about starting a podcast, or in the process of starting one? I get dozens of questions about starting a podcast, so grab your headphones and listen to this episode. I’ll cover the tools I use, the way I structure the audio, content guidelines, and vocal tips.
A few years ago, when we first had children, my husband talked to his workplace about parental leave. He knew that while he’d like to be home during the first few weeks during and after the birth, he was also interested in being able to be around with his kids while they grew up. So, the summer after our first kid was born, he shifted his schedule to work from 8am to 4pm. From there, he advocated for taking a four-week leave every summer to spend time with his kids. We’re not taking a full sabbatical this year because of the pandemic, but we will still push pause on a few things where we can.
Sometimes it takes a while for motherhood to grow on you—it’s not always instant or immediate. For Shama Hyder, she didn’t love the baby stage right away, and wondered if there was a “motherhood gene” she might be missing. Here’s her story of loving her business and adjusting to a new baby, and how long it really took for her to find her rhythm.
When coronavirus first happened, many of us were adjusting to figuring out the shut down. How long would it last? Would this just be a week or two? What were the next steps? For many of you reading this blog and listening to the podcast, you have also been trying to figure out your birth plans. How do you give birth in a pandemic? What do you plan for, when everything keeps changing? Here’s what Megan Hale did when she found out her husband and mother both tested positive for the flu the week before she was due to give birth.
One of the hardest things for me is finding a way back to myself amidst the clawing of children, the demands of home, the projects at work, and the to-do lists piled extra high. You know the days—when doing anything longer than 15 minutes seems impossible. Here’s a free series of short, five-minute guided audio meditations for everyone who wants them. No catch.
Want to know how we’re breaking down our workdays and figuring out our schedules? I break down the exact schedules I’m using with my partner, who works when (and why), and how much work we’re really able to get done. (Hint: not a ton.) Also, I’ll share my thoughts on equality in partnerships, why specificity is so important, and why my business is able to handle seasonal fluctuations right now, which is keeping us afloat.
Making sense of days that make no sense requires new patterns, habits, and routines. For me, trying to muddle through the cacophony of work and children and non-stop days at home is very, very challenging to my brain. So, to help, I’ve been building small rituals into the day to start to cue myself that yes, work is happening now, and yes, it’s a new day.
If you’re feeling a bit all over the place, I want to talk about how stress affects each of us differently and why these reactions are coming up. Here’s a map for how stress responses work in the body, why we each have different feelings and responses, and how to begin to process your feelings with some of my favorite tools.
The next few days, weeks, and months are going to challenge us—a lot. Actually, the next twelve to eighteen months are going to be quite the ride, but let’s just start here with where we are, today. Having everything suddenly shift and having our lives disrupted this much is a huge deal. How can we process and deal with it? In this episode I go over seven things to keep your mental sanity amidst all of this. Here are a few ideas to hold onto sanity amidst all the volatility.
Community Webinar — Free Event: Planning Ahead If You’re Pregnant, Giving Birth, Or Parenting Little Ones Right Now
If you’re a parent or you’re pregnant, we’re hosting a free webinar about coronavirus, pregnancy, and birth. Come join us to discuss planning ahead for COVID and coronavirus disruptions if you’re pregnant, giving birth, or have little kids at home.
My family is currently working from home and practicing social isolation measures. We’ve been home from school and daycare and work since Thursday, March 12th. In this episode, I’ll walk through why we’re doing this, what the outbreak looks like, and what you can do to prepare.
I’ve been talking a lot with friends and community members about what to do to prepare, whether or not we should be worried, and how best to deal with the coming disruptions that will likely happen to our daily life across both family and business. I wanted to take the time to share what I would do and how I’m preparing for the next three to nine months, especially if you’re pregnant, giving birth, or a parent with small kids at home.
Parenting can challenge us to the ends of the earth—and those early years often leave you feeling overwhelmed, scared, and frustrated. Here’s a short note for you: stick with it, keep going, and you’ll be surprised at your capacity. And yes, it’s really hard.
JOIN THOUSANDS OF PARENTS
WHO WANT TO RETHINK “HOW IT’S ALWAYS BEEN”
Transformative conversations at the heart of working, parenting, and better living. Sign up to join us.